“I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.”
“We are eliminating your position.”
“I don’t think you’re a good fit for this role any longer.”
“It just isn’t working out.”
“The security guard will help you pack your things and escort you out of the building.”
Buh-bye.
So you’ve suddenly been let go, down-sized, fired, canned, Most of us have been there. Some of us have been there many times. It isn’t fun or pretty. And no matter what your family and friends say, this ISN’T always “the best thing for you, a chance for a fresh start.” Sometimes it just plain sucks.
There is no shortage of advice for people who suddenly find themselves out of a job, so I see no need to share my perspective on networking, resumes, job search sites, etc.
Instead I would like to share three non-obvious ideas I’ve learned from others. These insights have helped me maintain a steady upward career trajectory for more than 20 years, even as I experienced two layoffs, one downsizing, one “strategy adjustment,” and an employer’s abrupt business closing. And I was outright fired once. So I know of which I speak.
Take the Hit
It is natural to ask yourself questions like “why me?” and “why now?” but be careful about how you explain the situation to yourself. It will be easy and quite tempting to assign blame elsewhere. Those damn politicians ruined the economy… senior leadership of the company was clueless… your boss was just covering his own ass… they lied to you… they didn’t set you up for success… now, some or all of those things might be true. But you do not serve yourself well when you focus on what “they” did to you.
- If economic changes drove this, why didn’t you have more foresight to plan ahead and make adjustments?
- If someone lied to you, why weren’t you more discerning?
- If the business failed or contracted, why didn’t you see it coming?
- If they didn’t give you the right training, why didn’t you find a way to obtain it anyway?
- If you were forced to take a job you knew was unstable because you needed the money, how did you get yourself into that situation?
Peel away every layer of blame until you get to the core truth: you created the circumstances of your life through your action, decisions, thoughts – or lack thereof. If life is a chess game, you don’t suddenly arrive in the middle of the game and complain about the bad positioning of your chess pieces. Your actions (and reactions) created your chess board as it is today.
Taking the “hit” of total responsibility for your tough circumstances is counter-intuitive and often emotionally painful. I’m not saying that it’s all your fault. I’m saying that it doesn’t help you to focus on why it is THEIR fault, whoever “they” are. If you fully embrace and “own” your life circumstances, the bad and the good, you will be much more clear sighted as you move forward.
But this is very hard for most of us. It doesn’t seem fair (it isn’t) and we really WANT to point our finger outward, not inward. But fairness isn’t going to land you a new job. The mindset you create when you “take the hit” WILL help you.
Find the Funny
The pressure and confusion and embarrassment of unemployment can kill your sense of humor. And when your humor dies, you also lose mental, emotional and physical energy, creating a downward spiral.
Force yourself to find humor in your situation. And not just the cynical “they suck so bad” type of humor, but mostly light-hearted, good-natured humor. And the very BEST humor, in terms of energy boost, is being able to poke at yourself. Don’t take yourself or your life circumstances too seriously.
Sure the financial pressure may mean that you cannot afford groceries, but your kids could stand to lose a few pounds, am I right?
Author’s note – I wrote that and then had second thoughts. Did I cross a line there? Not sure, so I’ll keep it in. But I know my wife is going to read this and cringe, so there will be a price to pay. (Hi Paula)
OK I’m having a little fun, but I’m also serious about this. During this period of unemployment it is more important than ever that you:
- Watch funny movies, not downer dramas.
- Spend time with funny friends, not the whiney doom-and-gloomers.
- Go out to see live comedians. Again the happy-funny ones, not the life-is-crap cynical ones. Although lately it seems these are the only ones making a living in comedy. If you have no other options, they are better than nothing.
- Crack jokes, even bad ones.
Humor provides us with a survival mechanism that I don’t claim to fully understand, but I KNOW it is critical. Because Paula says so.
Let the World Know
Your instinct will be to hide out, avoid friends, family and ex-colleagues from work. But now is the time to let EVERYONE know, including all of your LinkedIn and other social media connections. You can do it with humor if you like:
UPDATE: JUST GOT CANNED
Or you can be normal:
UPDATE: SEEKING NEW OPPORTUNITY
However you do it, put the word out. And let people know specifically what type of new work you are looking for. Provide them with a link to your resume. You will be amazed at how many are willing to forward it on the the HR team within their own company.
Attend every possible networking event you can. And shout your unemployment status from the rooftops. Uh, not literally of course. But let everyone know.
I used to “hide” from my friends when I was unemployed, scrambling to get a new job before they learned I was out of work. So I get the instinct. But I also know that when I changed this one fundamental mindset, it had a HUGE payoff for me personally. And I’m betting the same will happen for you.